


i could see for miles

by Linara



Series: the dirtiest  white boy in america [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, with a special one liner guest appearance from terry milkovich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linara/pseuds/Linara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was stupid to think Ian would be content forever with secrecy and stolen kisses in the dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i could see for miles

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr.
> 
> To be quite honest I feel like there should be a lot more cussing in this, but somehow it got left behind.

So here’s the thing: Mickey knew Ian would leave.

Look, he’s not an idiot, no matter what everyone else says. Mickey picked up on all of the hints Ian dropped, he wasn’t blind to the fact that helping Ian with training was all preparation for when some guys are shooting at him in a desert far from Chicago.

Mickey knows this.

There’s another thing Mickey knows, a secret thing that he only admits to himself in the quietest hours when Svetlana is out with someone and Terry is on a job. When the house is empty and silent and Mickey dares to thumb through two faded movie tickets for some action flick that Ian had dragged him to. The idiot had insisted on paying, said he didn’t want to risk getting kicked out. More than likely he didn’t want to be interrupted, grasping with both hands at any opportunity he had to kiss Mickey with few protests.

It was moments like that, when Ian would trace Mickey’s face with his mouth, tentative at first and then surer, stronger, kissing a path up Mickey’s neck until Mickey would push him away (I’m trying to watch the fucking movie, Gallagher, lay off) which had made Mickey - not hope, never hope - but think maybe, in some soft vulnerable place, that maybe Ian would stay. Stay for him.

It was a stupid thing to think, Mickey knows that. Just as it was stupid to think Ian would be content forever with secrecy and stolen kisses in the dark. Utterly and completely stupid to think that Mickey could ever give Ian what he wanted.

Oh, Mickey wishes he could. There’s a fierce, desperate need in him that grows stronger with every day Ian is gone, a need to give Ian everything he asked for with his kisses and gentle touches. He wants that so strongly that there are days when he wakes up with a plan to take the first bus to wherever Ian is so he can - get him back.

Then he feels the polyester of the sleeping bag he’s in, body registering the warmth of Svetlana next to him, and it’s enough to stop him.

It’s enough to stop his eager movements to get out of the sleeping bag, out of the room he shares with a woman who isn’t quite a stranger anymore, out of the way of Terry’s drunken rages (I’ll beat the fag out of you until I’m damn sure it’s gone, boy). It’s enough to make him remember that this is life, his life, and there’s no room in it to feel anything about a red-headed soldier boy who doesn’t want him anymore.

Mickey needs and wants and feels, but there’s no place in his life for all of that. That’s just something Mickey knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://www.dwgeek.tumblr.com/) for more angst and Mickey-caused sadness.


End file.
